Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
home. puking in laundry basket.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
