one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
