Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize