My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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