your thong is hanging out like whoa
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
