Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
