how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
