Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize