I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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