By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
