According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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