You're my little dorito
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
