so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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