so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
should my penis look like a turkey
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
