my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
