I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
there was a trapeze. enough said
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
