I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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