Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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