So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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