I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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