I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
