its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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