Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
handjob tips. give me some.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize