so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
