I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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