Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
