Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I love you. Go after that dick
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
