me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
time to smoke my breakfast
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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