love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
