I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
