I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Did you just see the Batmobile???
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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