Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
