i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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