its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
