VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
