I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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