I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
