so explain again why im purple
no
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
