so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
