he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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