Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize