I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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