That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This is classic penis vs brain.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
