I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
