Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
