Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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