NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
