why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize