Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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