She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i would punch a child for taco bell
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
