Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
