So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
