i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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