They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
