Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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