This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why can't burritos get me drunk
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
A+ Viking dick
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
