Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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