Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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