It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
handjob tips. give me some.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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