He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
