Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
