Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
