I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
