he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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