Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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