so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
my liver is dry heaving
I party with great urgency now.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
