Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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