We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
