:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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