Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He better not be in your backpack
Let's get the cat blown out
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
