There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
